Archive for the ‘behavior modification’ Category

Why Seeing Leads To Believing (Day 30)

Are you aware that your visual sense is your most powerful? I’ve written before on using the visual field to create goals or actions you want to do. We’ve often heard the saying “Seeing is believing.” However, that is not necessarily true. Just because we see something does not mean we automatically accept it. Otherwise, there would be no conflict of any type.

I don’t think we automatically accept anything in our view path, especially when it comes to habits, goals, dreams; of course we can create the pictures in our minds and feel very excited about them but when it comes to fulfilling them, that is another story. When we do crate those images, if they are important to sue then we can start to believe we can achieve them. Seeing leads to believing.


On this final day of the 30-day blog challenge I’ve been participating in, I have see fellow bloggers – who have never done so before – reach this final goal. Although not all may have done so, they still had a vision for what they wanted to accomplish in this challenge; I have seen others get better at their writing as they’ve seen others who are writing daily, which has led them to believe they can, also. And they have.

That is the beauty of using visualization = it’s free, it’s easy but yet it’s powerful. When you repeatedly see yourself in action, the more excited you will be and the more adept you will be in the skill you create. For instance, for this challenge I sat every morning and set a daily practice/intention: I set the scene and ‘watched’ myself opening the computer, going to the administration page and opening a new blog page; in order to find come up with ideas for me, the best way is to look at problems, issues, or news that I hear as they relate to my focus of which I had to see them in my mind. I then would ‘see’ the words flowing while my fingers typed away until done.

This has gotten me through this challenge which the steps can work for you, too. Just because you’ve seen something doesn’t mean it is real or will happen but, the more you see, the clearer the goal and the easier it becomes. Kudos to my fellow bloggers for following through on this challenge. I have done these before and know it won’t be my last, and I hope it won’t be yours, either.

If you’d like help on following through on your goals, contact us for a Complementary Discovery Session to get started;


Believing You Can Gets You Everthing

“In order to succeed, we must first believe we can.” (Nickos Kazantakis)

Our thoughts and beliefs dictate the direction in our lives, which is why so much focus is placed on mindset, overcoming fears, undoing negative thoughts, and a host of other issues related to thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Change a thought you will act in whichever way that thought is going: think a positive thought, you will feel happier and can see more possibilities in your world; think a negative thought and you will only see darkness and bleakness around you.

Changing a thought is relatively easy – it’s changing a belief that is the impossible – or so it seems. When you have a belief that is causing you pain, isn’t it time to do something about it? As the saying above says, you need to have the belief that you can overcome a negative, move forward on a positive, or be the best version of you.

  1. write down what your vision of success looks like to you – what specific actions are you taking, what outcomes have you achieved, how much money are you making, what is the status of your relationships. Being specific as you can opens the door to their possibility, as well as many others
  2. visualize them – the visual field is our most powerful sense we have so use it to its fullest. Create a vision board or put a picture of what you want somewhere where you can see it; this gets into those deep parts of your brain which motivates the brain to take action
  3. affirm them – saying what you want, and repeating it, gets into the brain as well since what we hear is magnified in our own voices; repeating out loud, or writing, short statements such as “I am a success”  “I am happy” or “I own my world” will have you believing them soon

These steps, if done consistently, will change your negative beliefs and habits. You can let go of any bad experiences in your past and create newer and better ones. You can be the success you want to be. Start today and watch your life change.

If you’d like help changing your habits and creating your best life, contact us today for your Complementary Discovery Session:

Do You Need A challenge to Move Yourself Forward?

How often do you ever start a task only to find the momentum fading fast? Perhaps you want to lose weight and begin a form of exercise; or you want to quit a bad habit, like smoking or drinking; or perhaps you want to develop good habits, such as meditation. We’ve all been in this position where we say we want to do something but we either give up before it starts or soon after. Why is this?

Well, we can look at brain functions for some answers as this relates to our levels of dopamine, which is our natural chemical that is related to feeling happy or alive, both of which are needed in the setting and achievement of our goals. We can also look at external factors in our environment, which also plays a part in reaching our goals and setting ourselves up for success so we are motivated to perform the new behavior. Starting and developing new habits are not easy as we have to unlearn the old and focus on the new.

I find that a great way to begin and continue on a new goal journey is to be challenged to do so; our brains like to reach goals so they will work more in the direction if given enough attention. Currently, I am doing two challenges: I am doing 100 Days of Gratitude to keep my focus only on positives that surround me; we often tend to focus on the problems and what we don’t have so gratitude takes that focus off of any negatives to ‘show’ us how blessed we truly are as well as raise the dopamine levels so we are happier and more motivated to keep in those positive thoughts. The second challenge I just signed up for is a 30-Day Blog Challenge; I’ve done these on my own in the past but I like the idea of accountability as well as community and new networks of people to connect with.

For the gratitude challenge, I’m on Day 9 and finding I have more energy and optimism; my creativity and sometimes ‘brain fog’ have lifted so I’m excited to see how the impact will continue as I move forward in these next few months. I’m also excited for the blogging as I love to write and share tips and resources; this is a great way to promote your business, and I always recommend that individuals start one for their career as it leaves a social imprint, which employers want to see these days.

I encourage you to find a challenge you can get involved in, whether formally or for yourself. Set that end goal, give it a time-limit, and begin. The first step is the hardest so dip your toe in the water and take it. Your life will only improve in some way so what is there to lose? See you on the journey; if you need some help or accountability, contact me at

Is Time Flying By or is it Just Me?

I have been noticing a trend lately which is that time is flying by faster than ever. I don’t have any explanation for this; it is just a personal observation, are we just too busy to appreciate the day, or is the world truly spinning faster? What does this really mean and why is this important to uncover? I don’t know about you, but I want to breathe – I mean truly take time and breathe, without feeling any pressure to do this or that, and just enjoy the day. It seems that we are so immersed in busyness that we aren’t taking time to rest, relax, and refresh. This is a critical part of any day which allows us to face the next one.

The negative effects of being too busy are staggering, with numbers in the billions as far as health costs, including mental health, as well as the costs to organizations resulting from lost productivity and absenteeism. When is it going to stop – or can it?

I believe it can and it all starts with you – this is an individual effort. While we all have demands placed on us which come from our jobs, our families and friends, and trying to balance these with our personal needs, which really need to come first. If you’re not good to you, you’re not good for others.

Here are some steps you can begin to implement today, which are easy and cost-free:

  1. Breathe – how simple is this step? Breathing helps to open the red blood cells in the body so your stress chemical, Cortisol, can go throughout the body and relax you. Just this simple act can help to calm the body, refocus the mind and even help you sleep.
  2. Release – when you keep all kinds of fear and overwhelm inside, it leads to feeling more helpless and worried – what about that presentation, how will I pay that bill, is my child safe and happy; everyday worries can lead to bigger worries so releasing them keeps them out of your head so you won’t focus on them any longer. Easy ways to do this: speak about them out load (to yourself or another), write about them, such as through journaling , or pray/meditate on them.
  3. Plan – in the busyness of the day, it often seems that everything needs to be done now which only leads to more stressful feelings. Time seems to be in a blur as to how all will get done. So one of the best ways is to plan by writing down what is on your plate and attaching start and end dates to complete them.  Use a calendar on your wall, computer or phone; set a timer as a reminder. This is also an accountability system to do what you say you’re going to do.
  4. Let go – there are times, which I have found, that we need to just close up the computer, turn off the TV, and enjoy the time you have. Sitting in the silence helps us to go internal and ‘hear’ what we’re being led to do. Or, it might be that you sit back and enjoy outings with the family, go off to to the gym or other hobbies you enjoy, or clean and purge in you house or office. Some of the busyness involves the need to control so letting go of this need will relax you more and allow time to evolve as it should.
  5. Be grateful – this very act alone will change the way you think and view the world. We always know everything we don’t have, which can lead us down the slippy-slope to victim-hood; changing your outlook and appreciating every little thing you do have, which includes your achievements and differences you are making, alters the happy chemicals in the brain so now you will think and feel better.

Time may be flying by but it is of your own making. Take time, starting today, to slow down, appreciate what you have, practice self-care, and take back the control of your time. Your life will improve overall if you continue on.

Which is Your Thinking Error?

In working with clients, I am keenly aware of  the themes or ‘issues’ they are seeking help and guidance for.  Most times, these issues are preventing them from doing and having more, such as negative thinking or lack of self-esteem.  Their growing frustration and perceived inability to deal with their situation leads to a host of physical and emotional issues which affects them personally as well as their interpersonal relationships.

These “issues’ are actually errors in our thinking, or distortions.  Without getting too clinical or in-depth, when we look at our personal development we all pass through various stages or phases throughout our lives; in each of these phases we are developing habits and patterns that help us to move through each phase and shape us to who we are.  But these behaviors and habits are not always positive ones.  We can develop errors in our thinking about how we see and perceive situations we are faced with.

These thinking errors include:

  • all-or-nothing thinking – you see things as black or white (if not perfect, then see it as a total failure)
  • overgeneralizing – seeing a single event as a never-ending pattern
  • mental filter – picking out a single event and then dwelling on the negative aspect while not seeing any positives
  • disqualifying any positives – rejecting any good while maintaining negative beliefs
  • jumping to conclusions – making negative interpretations with no facts to base them on
  • mind reading – concluding that you know what someone is thinking without checking to see if it’s correct
  • fortune telling – predicting an outcome as a predetermined fact
  • catastrophizing – expecting the absolute worst outcome as a fact
  • magnifying or minimizing – either overly exaggerating or making things less small
  • emotional reasoning – “I feel it so it must be true”
  • “Should” – use as a motivator but leads to feeling punished and justified for not doing something
  • labeling – attaching a negative label to yourself or others
  • personalization – seeing negative events or characteristics as part of yourself or others when not your doing
  • maladaptive thinking – focusing on a thought that you have no control over which can seem self-critical or distracting

Overcoming these thinking errors can often be difficult – and the longer these habits are festered it will take longer to let them go.

But there is good news – it is totally possible to reverse any thinking errors and develop healthy positive ones which will then lead you to feeling more positive, more confident and that will get you into action mode.  First, it takes identifying which thinking error(s) you may have and in which situations you use them.  Next, it takes challenging your thoughts – how do you know these to be true?  Lastly, it takes validating your positive thoughts and behaviors so they become implanted.

Don’t let your thinking errors hold you back from having the career, the business, or the life you desire.  Make the decision to stop and honor yourself by relearning new habits today!

The More You Do, The Easier it Becomes

Today is Day 5 of my blog challenge, which has been going well.  I find that daily writing is like riding a bike – it comes back to you after consistent effort.  I find that the more you do a task, the easier it becomes, which results in a higher level of skill and mastery.  Often times, when faced with a task, you might focus on the magnitude of the task, either perceived or real.  The perception of the task will either lead to action or inaction, depending if you view the task as satisfying and worthwhile or you view it as hard or can’t seem to see a beneficial result.

In order to push through, it is important to let the fear-center in the brain (the Amygdala) lie low so you can push through.  I use the principles of Kaizen, which means ‘small steps lead to big changes.’  Breaking tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps will help the fear center to lay down and get out of the way so the actions you take seem more easier; it also establishes these small steps as new habits so that your next actions will not seem so monumental and lead you down the avoidance path.

Here is a great book that will tell you how to implement the practices of Kaizen and is a recommended read:

The Kaizen Way:  One Small Step Can Change Your Life, by Robert Maurer, Ph. D.,

So, using these principles – let the blogging continue.  I find that topic ideas are coming easier and the words are flowing more freely.  Give it a try – I’ll bet you’ll find more productivity and results in your day!


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