Yesterday turned out to be a really good day, business-wise. I decided to return to a professional association meeting I used to attend a few years ago, where I was heavily involved, but stopped for several reasons. One of those was the timing of the meeting as they often have these early meetings where I have scheduled clients. But I decided to go back and see what they’ve been up to lately.
I am so glad I made that decision. Not only was I able to see contacts I haven’t seen in a couple years, so it was nice to reconnect, but I also made new contacts and connections that I look forward to. But one of the best aspects was the opportunities that were there to expand both my network and my business. I was able to secure two speaking engagements from that meeting, where I get to present my signature program of helping people to love their job again.
While the opportunity was there, it did take seeking it out and ‘grabbing’ them. Later that day, I secured another speaking engagement just from an opportunity of helping someone out who was referred to me by a friend (aren’t they grand?). Opportunities are all around if we just look for them. How many times have you wanted to do something but you could not see anyway to achieve them? How many times have you thought that opportunities are for others but not you?
If so, you’re in the majority so take heart and know you are not alone. Seeing any opportunity that lies in front of you means knowing exactly what you do want, looking for them, and then taking action to make them a reality. Instead of seeing a black cloud, or a negative aspect of a situation, don’t go in with any expectation of a particular outcome; I knew the meeting agenda was focused on planning speakers for next year, but had no idea I would be accepted nor get voted in to speak twice. When I called the referred person, my intention was to help them and not the other way around (see how that works?).
If I had gone in with my own agenda, the situation may not have turned out as planned. So take off the dark glasses and open your eyes to all that is available to you. Step over any barriers you feel may be in your way and take quick action. Remember, the person you say hi to today may be your next opportunity – take a chance!
If you’d like help in overcoming any blocks that are holding you back from creating your desires, contact us today for a Complementary Discovery Session to get started: http://www.cyscoaching.com
One of the ways to motivate your dreams and desires is to write a letter to yourself that you date for a year from now (it could also be three or six months). This is a great way to dream big and set the stage for how you would like your life to look at this time next year. Think of it – you are speaking on a big stage, driving a new car, owning your own business, or that new VP position you’ve been working for.
It is very exciting to create the life you want, as well as motivating to see your life play out exactly as you want it to be. I did this exact exercise a year ago while at a meeting I was attending, and just received the letter in the mail. Now, while I think this is a great exercise, I think there are some errors with the process:
- I think the setting is important to where you write the letter – the meeting I attended was a first-time for me so, looking back, I did the exercise out of what the speaker’s agenda/activity was and not necessarily where I might have done this exercise as the restaurant was loud with a lot of activity going on. For some, this works but didn’t for me.
- I think the essence of time is important – I would normally take some time to sit and think about my desires, perhaps while walking or sitting with a journal to allow an openness of thought and ideas. I’m not negating that when we are pressed for time we can come up with some great ideas and solutions. Whichever way works for you, go for it.
- I think the writing needs to be reinforced – it took a whole year for me to remember that I wrote the letter; in fact, I was questioning who the letter was from, even though my name was both the sender and receiver (lol). Considering this exercise, I wish I had written the date I wrote the letter or, better yet, rewrote what I put into the letter. I think it would have helped me to look at them and work to act on them. The subliminal manifesting didn’t work for me ( but it can for you).
I more than likely will do this exercise again, but will play it smarter this time; I’ll follow the advice I’m giving you but pay more attention to my life. I think this time I’ll not just list all business activities (which I did) – I’ll pay attention to my personal time and to doing for others. Manifesting your life is possible if done correctly but you have to give yourself the lift it needs. What will your life look like next December?
If you’d like help with moving forward in your life, contact us today for your Complementary Discovery Session to clear the clouds and get moving: http://www.cyscoaching.com
So to continue on my story of the ‘broken car,’ I am now happy to report that I am the proud owner of a brand new one. I decided yesterday to just go ‘look’ – my intention was not to buy anything but, it was Black Friday and there were a lot of good car deals going on. I had my heart set on a particular one but, 6 hours later, after 4 test drives (I know, I’m picky), it was down to two.
Financing worked out but now came the big decisions: fix my car, buy a new one, and which one. After going back and forth, I decided to buy a smaller SUV – the bigger one is too big for a short person and I really like the dashboard of the one I bought (yes, picky). I am a bit sad, though, as I didn’t even drive it off the lot as I drove there.
Today, as many of us do, my buyer’s remorse is starting to kick in: did I get the best deal, could I have gotten them lower, would another dealer have given a better offer, should I have taken the other car? How many times do you regret either making a decision that you question or regretting a decision you didn’t make? I think a majority of us live with these fears and self-doubts when it comes to making a decision. I say it’s because we don’t trust ourselves enough while also fearing the inability to face a consequence that may result.
I am reading a great book by Brian Whetten, Ph. D, called “Yes, Yes, Hell No!” He says that when it comes to making a decision, whether good or bad, that we will move forward which are the yeses but then this turns into the hell no aspect. For example, say you really want to move into a new job; you search and find one, you update your resume with keywords and ensuring your skills shine; you open the computer to apply BUT you don’t. You start questioning the process and all the what-ifs that might occur. You have just done the Yes, Yes – Hell No process.
Whetton (2015) says that there are two types of decisions: dilemmas and dreams; I faced dilemma as I was facing several alternatives, while a dream involves something you want to accomplish. He says that decisions are made up of intuition, reason and the fear, and that when these three align we should move forward. But the key is listening to which voice is raising its head and to respond accordingly. Embracing the fear, or fears, helps them release them while holding onto them only makes them stronger. We all have the answers – we just need to pay attention to them. I recommend this book – I think I’m going back to the beginning and reading again to embrace my new car and all future decisions I make.
Today started off well – I was excited to lead the coaches meeting I run; I was looking forward to the networking as well as hearing the speaker, whose topic was getting through the holidays conflict-free. Things went well, except for the ‘ping’ I heard in my car. I made it to the meeting, which went really well. But, an unplanned event happened, which could have ruined the day if I allowed it.
So on my way home, I was on the interstate when I noticed my temperature gauge on Hot; the car was driving fine but I knew I needed to pull over. That is the dilemma – do I pull off of the interstate, with whizzing car speeding by, or wait until I got off my exit. That is is the option I chose, but I was only able to pull part-way into a store parking lot. I was really trying to remain calm about what to do now.
Luckily, a man on a bike was right there and helped push my car out of the way so I didn’t get hit, and then proceeded to try to help. I was so appreciative, especially since he was waiting for a bus to take him home which is about 30 miles away. He told me he had come to visit his sick sister. I did give him money to pay for his bus fare and get something to eat and off he went. Luckily (I may say this several times), my nephew was not working so he and my brother-in-law came to help. I broke down luckily near an auto parts store where I bought parts we thought would take care of the problem but it turns out a belt broke. Luckily I have AAA, who towed my car to an auto repair not far from where I was.
As of now, I am car-less and may have to take a taxi to work in the morning but I’m very grateful as it could have been worse. The mechanic found that the water pump is going bad and the power steering pump is as well, which rubbed on the belt causing it to break. As bad as it sounds, the mechanic is very fair and the parts are not as expensive as they sound, luckily.
I’m sure many of you have similar stories of starting out the day well but then unplanned events happened. It is during these times that we can either look on the negative side of ‘why me?’ OR we can be thankful for the sun that is behind the clouds. Here are 3 steps you can take during these challenging times:
- Breathe – when I first noticed the gauge on Hot, I had to take some really big breaths so I didn’t get to the panic stage. Deep breathing helps to open the red blood cells and allow the cortisol, which is our natural stress chemical, to go throughout the body and do its job of calming both mind and body. It also helps you to think clearer as to how you will handle the situation. I took a lot of deep breathes on that ride home.
- Self-talk – in order to not let my emotions get the better of me, I had to tell myself that it would be ok and that I would make it home. I didn’t get that far but I made it to an area that was close and I was safe. Using positive self-talk vibrates throughout your body, which will create more positive emotions which you can then act on. I kept telling myself that the situation was going to work out fine, which it has (so far).
- Be grateful – there were so many positives from this – the fact I could make it as far as I did, the guy on the bike, my nephew being off, AAA membership, the fair mechanic, the money to pay for his services. I feel blessed that this happened when and how it did as I could still be stranded or at the mercy of an unfair tow truck. Gratitude takes the focus off of what we don’t have and allows to see all that we do.
The next time things don’t go as planned, remember to take deep breaths, talk yourself to a more positive mood and be thankful; if you can’t see any positives look for them. You’re still alive and breathing; you’ve made it through other tough times and you will again. If you need help being on the positive side, contact me at http://www.cyscoaching.com as I’d love to help.
Here are some facts to know about your brain if you want to get more tasks done:
1. You can focus on only one conscious task at a time
2. Switching between tasks uses energy so if you switch a lot you can make more mistaks
3. Doing multiple tasks at once will lead to a big drop-off in accuracy and/or performance of those tasks
4. The only way to do two tasks fast and with accuracy is doing each one at a time (Rock, 2009)
Treat your brain well and it will do the same to you!