Archive
Learn From Your Success(es)
Taking Risks
I have found myself taking more risks these day, and in a good way. I have joined a group to create and grow a Face Book group; I’ve had a coaching group for a while now, but it hasn’t grown as quickly as I’d like so I’m looking to this group and program to jump-start it.
I just finished a 5-day Visibility Challenge, where I learned to create and share memes that represent my brand and information I share. This was really uplifting – and fun for my creative side. (here is one I did)
And I just signed up – and did – my first Facebook Live 21 Day Challenge. This one scares me the most, as I am not comfortable being on camera. I’ve dabbled with them but the outtakes of my ‘flubs’ are so funny. I did my first video and, while it was a a bit rough, I got through and posted it for the those in my world to see. My goal is to like how I look and share more content.
The point is that I am taking more risks these day – what about you? Taking risks is …risky; it’s fearful and scary. Pushing past these fears and taking those risks, however, is what leads to growth and results. The more you do, the less those risks appear ‘real’ – they are imaginations in our mind, an anticipation that we don’t actually know will happen.
Challenging these maladaptive thoughts and taking some type of action is the way; I can tell you that I feel pretty proud right now that I’ve done that video. It wasn’t as scary as I thought and I look forward to doing more. If I hadn’t have done this challenge, I would still be sitting on the sidelines, feeling frustrated with myself. I’ve admired those that have done videos so I no longer want to be in that space – I’ve taken a risk and moved forward.
What about you? What scares you, but frustrates you at the same time? I challenge you to act on whatever it is and get ‘er done. You will be glad you did.
If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started! http://www.cyscoaching.com
Changing Your Outlook on Fear
If you have, or are now, dealing with fears that are preventing you from moving ahead in your career or your business, you are not alone.
Dealing with fear and the reasons for them is a big part of my business. You see, fear is really the underlying basis of procrastination and avoidance. It is the root-cause of why most people never finish a task or a goal, why they can’t speak up at a meeting or market their business. And, sadly, it is the underlying reason why relationships suffer from not making your needs known.
How you define fear can dictate your reactions to its meaning. I recently ran across two definitions of fear that I think are important to share in the hopes that you might look deeper into your fears and decide to banish them once and for all:
Forget Everything And Run
Face Everything And Rise
With the first, you can go into flight mode and run away from what you want; however, you ultimately have to live with the results – not having what you desire and then living with your inaction’s and resulting frustrations. OR, you can choose to face your fears and overcome them. The more you do, the more long-lasting results you will see.
You need to decide which path you want to take- to face your fears or to allow them to control you. Make the choice to overcome any fear you have; recognize that their power is from you, which means you can easily take it away.
Here are some steps you can take to rid yourself of those pesky fears that are holding you back:
This week, make your focus the quest to uncover the real reason for your fears; then, question their validity and what you think would be the worst outcome. Rewrite those outcomes as a positive statement and monitor how you feel when you read them. Vow to take one small action step on what is holding you back then ‘see’ how much you get accomplished. Commit to building on these actions and monitor your progress until your goal is achieved.
If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, or in ‘taming the demons’ that prevent your success, why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started! http://www.cyscoaching.com
Spring is In The Air – Or Is It?
Today is the first day of Spring, the time when flowers bloom and the birds return; a time of warmer weather and hopefulness for the good times. Living here in Florida, we are having great Spring weather, with the temperatures in the 70’s & 80’s (I’m loving my low electric bill). But this is not a hopeful Spring for many right now; my parents live up North and it’s still cold with some snow (I guess Punxatawney Phil was right).
This all comes down to perspectives and how you view situations that are put in your path: you can either look at them in a positive way or negatively, which will determine your outlook and productivity. If all you see are dark days, then you will only see everything as a dark day, irregardless if good happens. Changing your attitude and perspective is an individual choice to make, which can either keep you in focused, action mode or it will keep you down. I am so thankful for the small electric bills I have now, as I know in another month we’ll be back into the 90’s and my air conditioner will be going = $$; but I can be grateful that I have one as there are many people who don’t and suffer through the cold and heat.
Being negative also takes its toll on you emotionally, as your cells respond to those negative words and thoughts and lead you to feeling bad about your situation, which then begets more bad feelings. Are you starting to see how this goes? The good news is that you don’t have to stay in this negative pattern, you can actually push through them:
- Be aware of any negative thoughts, feelings, and words, whether they come from you or from someone else
- Stop – don’t allow them to form or continue; put a rubber band on your wrist and flick it at the first notice as this will interrupt the pattern to do so
- Replace the negatives with positive thoughts; Dr. Srini Pillay, founder of Neurobusiness Group, says that we need three (3) positive thoughts to override one negative, so use affirmations or talk to yourself in a nice, nurturing manner to start a new, positive habit
These tips will help ‘spring’ you forward to having a more positive and successful life. One precaution is that this will not be an ‘easy’ task, as you need to unlearn old patterns you’ve been using for years. But, by choosing to go towards a more positive life, and using these tips to overcome negative habits, you can turn your life into what you desire.
If you’d ready to take control of your life and your career, contact us today to get started – let’s talk! http://www.cyscoaching.com
Dealing with Disappointment in Others
I feel as if I’m writing this with a heavy heart; my idea of doing a weekly profile of various industries was going really well since the beginning of the year….until now. I have approached people I’ve known, who are making it ‘big’ in their respected industries, but have been very disappointed in the responses I’ve gotten or, should I say, the lack of.
Last week, I was late in getting the information out as I had to find a quick substitute for the person who had agreed and then didn’t; this week is the same. The person this week ‘forgot’ and then had some other things to take care of – they even avoided me when I saw them later. I feel so disappointed in these individuals right now. It makes me wonder how many others they have not followed through with or if that is how they run their business.
I’ve had to step back and deal with the disappointment I feel; I need to look at my expectations and if I got in the way somehow. Here are three quick tips for how to deal when others have disappointed you in some way:
- assess the situation from an outsider’s viewpoint: look to see if what you were asking was clear and conveyed in a way that the other person understood in the exact same way (I had told the person when I needed the information, but their response was “if I had known when you needed it, I wouldn’t have agreed; obviously, our wires got crossed – I did email them twice).
- take your hurt less personally: this is more about the other person and where they are; I am not sure if I’m upset more with the fact that my request was not important to this person or that they failed to follow through (I think both). Use empathy to see where the other person may be coming from in their perspective
- reaffirm your boundaries and move on: this person crossed a line that was not acceptable to me; I’ll be nice when I see them (we attend a meeting together) but I won’t ask them again into this space. Moving on and forward into your desires will take the ‘sting’ out of the situation and help you to let go of any negativity you fell
Just writing this has helped me to feel better. So, I will move forward to others who are more open and willing to share in the future. Stay tuned!
How to Deal When Nothing Seems to Go Right
Did you ever have one of those days when it seems that things don’t go the way you want them to? I’m sure you have – we all have. I’d defy someone to say that this has never occurred in their life. Today seems like one of those days. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve had two companies call for my services but now they are delaying with an answer (huh?). I’m working on a presentation and the ‘tweaks’ are not going as expected. And now, one of my worst fears might be true – a website I had built in the last two years may be gone: I got the white screen of death.
Six years ago, my website got hacked and I had to start over – it was pretty devastating but did lead to some good outcomes. I had someone start a new site for me, which I’ve never used but feel I may want to; I called my hosting site and they think it may be the browser I’m signed in on – I’m praying it is so. If not, I will most likely need a good cry and a drink or two (lol).
I’d like to go back and address my statement that today ‘seems’ like one of those days when, in fact, it’s really not that bad. Why is it that we go down that dark place? Why do we allow our negative thoughts to take over, where we ‘lump’ all our situations into one big dark cloud? The brain tends to stay on the negative side, as it is always looking at potential threats to our status quo. When you have one negative issue, the memories of an earlier one comes flooding through and the emotion we feel is as if we first experienced it. I’m feeling a sense of panic when I think of how awful it was six years ago when my website got hacked – it doesn’t feel any different for me.
The only positive is that I’ve grown a lot since then and can rationalize the situation and how I will respond if the outcome turns out to be what I fear. I know that I have people I can turn to who will help me in this, although the loss of the work done is leading me to be so upset. If you’re experiencing a day where things seem to turn out wrong, here are a few tips to help turn this around:
- stop and pause – as our fight or flight is going off, it can lead us to feel anxious or angry, and wanting to make the situation ‘right’ (which can have the opposite effect). Stopping and pausing will provide calm, which is needed to think more clearly about the actions you will take
- use positive self-talk – as our tendency is to focus on negative, we have to fight hard to be positive; talking out loud to yourself breaks the negative focus and you can challenge the negative thought to see an alternate side, or a positive outcome for how you are able to handle any situation you face
- take quick action – don’t allow any negativity to invade your thoughts, which will happen very easily. Taking action on solutions charges the brain, which loves to solve problems, and doesn’t give time for wallowing in your poor circumstances
I know the talk will get pulled together; I can give some more time to hear back, as well s contact both companies for a status update; and, I know that I can start again in creating a new site (my delay in not using it is telling me something). I will give pause and reflect on the message, and then take action on righting the wrong. Positive thoughts create positive actions!
If you would like help in overcoming negativity and be more focused and action-oriented to achieve your desired goals, contact us: http://www.cyscoaching.com – let’s talk!
Doodling as a Creativity and Focus Tool
I was pleasantly surprised when I read a recent article tooting the benefits of doodling; I am not much of a drawer but I sure can doodle all day. Studies have shown that doodling helps with concentration, focus and retention of information. It also helps with our imagination and creativity, and seeing the big picture (Brown, 2014).
Doodling is also a mindfulness practice, which can help relieve stress and anxiety we may experience in our everyday lives. Doodling can be done while on the phone or at our desk, although I wouldn’t recommend spending hours in this practice. However, it can be a great way to resolve a problem or before you sit and come up with ideas for a new project. I read that Ron Howard doodles before he storyboards his movies. If this benefits him, I’m in!
The next time you feel stressed, or want to come up with how to deal with a situation, take some time and make marks on a paper; draw stick figures (my method), or words that come to mind. You can then color them, or even put them in different colors as the right brain comes alive and the left goes into problem-solving. As I already am practicing my gratitude and working on meditating, I’ll be adding this practice to my ‘tool box” – at least this one I can do without much effort. I’m looking forward to the added benefits. I hope you give it a try!
If you’re ready to take your career to the next level, contact us today – let’s chat! http://www.cyscoaching.com
