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What Are You Saying ‘No’ To?

Every day we make decisions; some are major ones, such as buying a car, changing jobs, or ending a relationship. Other decisions are small – should I eat the doughnut or the salad or what outfit should I wear to work?

In making a decision, essentially you are saying yes to one option and no to another. At work, you are faced with making decisions daily in getting that work done. Think about it; your job requires you to get specific tasks accomplished that fall under your responsibilities – do you dive in and get them done or do you put them off and get to them later? If so, then you’ve said no to the work and yes to something else.

While some options are essential, such as putting off the work to take care of a customer or to attend a mandatory meeting, you might be procrastinating or find that boredom has set in leading to a delay in getting the job done. You can find yourself frustrated that you’re behind or that you feel disengaged and dissatisfied somehow.

It’s being in a state of conscious awareness as to when you are saying no that could have an impact on the work you do and your future career path. Saying no is not always in our higher state of mind as we move through the business of the day; we put off work, i.e. go to a more appealing task, talk to a coworker, take breaks, or check Facebook or email. For some reason, you are saying no to the work that needs done while saying yes to an easier activity to relieve whatever is lying underneath.

How do you become more aware? The easiest way is to pay attention to any and all decisions you are making during the day; note the task, the time of day, your mood/emotion around that task, and how you feel about performing the task. Another part of this is to write out the perceived benefit and the outcome you believe will occur from that task, whether positive or negative. Every time you do something, ask yourself: ‘What am I saying No to?’ and ‘What am I saying Yes to?” Thinking about what you are saying yes and no to can help you to see if you should move forward on your decision as well as seeing things in a different way, which could help you to see how you are affecting your life and the way it’s playing out.

You won’t question why things are happening to you since you will be acutely aware of your part in any decision you make. This will have a huge impact on the direction you take, no matter in your job or other areas of your life. So begin today to have ‘eyes open’ on your Yes/No decisions so you will be more in control of the outcomes in all areas of your life.

If you’d like help with the direction of your career/life, contact us today for a Complementary Discovery Session to get started: http://www.cyscoaching.com

 

A Letter to Self: Motivate Your Desires

One of the ways to motivate your dreams and desires is to write a letter to yourself that you date for a year from now (it could also be three or six months). This is a great way to dream big and set the stage for how you would like your life to look at this time next year. Think of it – you are speaking on a big stage, driving a new car, owning your own business, or that new VP position you’ve been working for.

It is very exciting to create the life you want, as well as motivating to see your life play out exactly as you want it to be. I did this exact exercise a year ago while at a meeting I was attending, and just received the letter in the mail. Now, while I think this is a great exercise, I think there are some errors with the process:

  • I think the setting is important to where you write the letter – the meeting I attended was a first-time for me so, looking back, I did the exercise out of what the speaker’s agenda/activity was and not necessarily where I might have done this exercise as the restaurant was loud with a lot of activity going on. For some, this works but didn’t for me.
  • I think the essence of time is important – I would normally take some time to sit and think about my desires, perhaps while walking or sitting with a journal to allow an openness of thought and ideas. I’m not negating that when we are pressed for time we can come up with some great ideas and solutions. Whichever way works for you, go for it.
  • I think the writing needs to be reinforced – it took a whole year for me to remember that I wrote the letter; in fact, I was questioning who the letter was from, even though my name was both the sender and receiver (lol). Considering this exercise, I wish I had written the date I wrote the letter or, better yet, rewrote what I put into the letter. I think it would have helped me to look at them and work to act on them. The subliminal manifesting didn’t work for me ( but it can for you).

I more than likely will do this exercise again, but will play it smarter this time; I’ll follow the advice I’m giving you but pay more attention to my life. I think this time I’ll not just list all business activities (which I did) – I’ll pay attention to my personal time and to doing for others. Manifesting your life is possible if done correctly but you have to give yourself the lift it needs. What will your life look like next December?

If you’d like help with moving forward in your life, contact us today for your Complementary Discovery Session to clear the clouds and get moving: http://www.cyscoaching.com

 

Do You Focus on What You Don’t Want?

If you are wanting to make changes in your life – a new job or to lose weight – and  you are finding it a struggle, then the problem can be all in your head!  What I mean is that you may be focusing on what you don’t want as opposed to what you do.  It amazes me how many people I speak with just know that they need more fulfillment or satisfaction in their life; their current job or life situation is not meeting their needs. However, when asked what it is they want so they can get that fulfillment they cannot say.

When we focus on what we don’t want we wont be open to any new possibilities; it’s as if we train our brain to be closed off to any ideas or possibilities we entertain.  Keeping our focus and resulting actions on areas that are causing us unhappiness and distress is draining and toxic to our well-being and it leads us down a slippy-slope to a host of problems, both emotional and physical.  The good news, however, is that you can totally turn your way of thinking around, but I won’t promise you that it will be easy or fast; nothing done quickly does not usually turn out well, mainly in the respect of forming a life-long habit for the ‘next time.’

When you find yourself in an unhappy situation and you feel stuck:

  • Slow down – when we feel frustrated or unhappy we are in discomfort, which will lead us to find a quick-relief; often, this can lead to impulsive or destructive behaviors, like drinking or eating that doughnut.  Taking time to assess and analyze the source of your wants will help you to find the answers you are seeking (they are there).
  • Free-think  – take time and answer the question, “if time or money weren’t an issue, I would __________” ; or, what wish(es) would you ask the Genie in the bottle? Allow yourself to think big – no one is editing or monitoring your answers (there are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ here)
  • Focus on what you DO want – this step is where you now train that brain of yours to be focused only on your desires, wants, needs.  This is where you use tools like affirmations, power words, journaling, or a vision board to keep those wants in front of you at all times.

You have the power within to do and achieve all you want – it is you that prevents you and it usually results from the focus on the negatives, so make the commitment and allow yourself to be more positive.  Try it for 30-60 days, the time it takes to formulate a new habit, and see the life-changes you will make.

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