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Dealing with Career Paralysis

 

So you’re going through your career, making strides daily, but then slowly you feel stuck and unsure of the next steps. You wake up daily with thoughts of doing something different, perhaps having a great idea, but hold back on the exact steps to take to get them. Other days you just feel…lost. Do any of these sound familiar? If so, then you are caught in career paralysis; if not dealt with quickly, the paralysis can remain forever.

Before getting into how to deal with it, let me discuss why it occurs or what leads to it. The bottom line is that you are dealing with a fear of some type. Fear can rear its ugly head at any time, as 95% of our thoughts are buried deep down; we push unpleasant thoughts and experiences away but they have this nasty way of coming back – and when you least expect them. Fears can include:

  • fear of not being good enough ( the main underlying fear for us all)
  • fear of failing
  • fear of success
  • fear of not having enough money
  • fear of not having enough opportunities
  • fear of the boss not liking me (or fear of the boss in general)

I could go on and on as fear are limitless since they are individualized to each of us. But fear is not always bad – actually, fear can help us to dig down inside and find the inner strength we all have so we can push past fear and get done what we need to do. When we look at fears that are leading to being ‘stuck’ in your work and are depleting the joy and life out of you, if something is not done it can lead to catastrophic results, such as health or emotional issues or poor performance. Over time, you won’t be able to work, one way or another, as you’ll experience disengagement and join the 69% of people who are (Gallop, 2015), or you won’t be long in the job as your employer no longer needs a poor performer.

Here are three questions to ask yourself to turn move past any paralyzing feelings and find fulfilling work, which can be in your current work (you may need to think of moving on if these don’t work):

  1. What is holding me back? Name the fear exactly so you can now challenge the thought. That is the first step in becoming clear on the underlying reason you are staying stuck
  2. Is this absolutely true? Following the principles of The Work, by Byron Katie, challenging our thoughts can show us that nothing we think is an absolute, even though we believe it to be so. Knowing we can’t predict a belief of the end-result can lead us into looking at ways to find solutions to our perceived problems. It can also stop the focus on what is wrong and redirect to what it
  3. How can I become reengaged in the work I do? Starting small and finding one or two way to find enjoyment in your work tasks can go a long way in pushing you to start using your strengths and skills for your job tasks, as well as ownership and empowerment, all of which leads to feelings of satisfaction and personal happiness. You will then take responsibility of your work – the more you do the more motivated you become and the better your performance

Career paralysis is created in the mind; we begin to feel comfortable feeling stuck as we adapt and adopt coping patterns which become our behaviors. When you begin to make the uncomfortable actions new habits, your overall happiness levels will increase and you will begin to like your job all over again. Here is a last question for you: Do you want to stay where you are (meaning you’ve done nothing to change your circumstances) or do you want to have a job you love and that brings you fulfillment? The choice is yours (and ‘ain’t’ that great)!

If you feel stuck and are in career paralysis, why not get some help to push past the barriers and find joy in your work again. Contact us today at http://www.cyscoaching.com to get started.

May 1 – A Chance for a Do-Over

Happy May Day!  Here we are at the start of another new month, which brings hope and feelings of anticipation at what can be.  You can either look at this time as a positive or negative but the choice is yours to make.  For those of you who have dealt with the bad storms, I pray that you and your families are safe.  But this month has quite a few activities, such as May Day, Mother’s Day, Armed Forces Day, Victoria Day (for our Canadian friends) and Memorial Day. So how will you be spending your time this month – taking action on your dreams and goals or feeling like every day is groundhog day?

This is a perfect time to decide – no, commit – to taking massive action. Want that new job? Commit. Want to take that idea and start a business? Commit. Want to lose weight or begin an exercise program? Commit.  I think you get the idea, but whatever it is that you want you can have – but you first have to commit to the idea.  Once you do, you should feel a feeling of motivation and desire that will move you to taking action, no matter how big or small.  In fact, as a proponent of the principles of kaizen, small is actually preferable.  Create the plan and map out daily actions; have a reward and affirm your commitment on a daily basis. Be sure to celebrate your successes and get support, be that from a family member or friend, a coach or an app (there are thousands).  You can always start anything over but if you plan it out right, as I’ve suggested, you will develop good habits that will serve you for life!

If you’d like help with goal planning and increasing your performance, contact us at http://www.cyscoaching.com as we’d love to start living the life you desire!

The First Week Has Passed – How are You Doing on those Goals?

Happy TFIG!  We have now come to the end of the first work-week.  My question for you is ‘How are you doing on the goals, intentions, or resolutions (yuck)?” This is a critical time as it is a proven fact that the majority of people stop working on theirs by the second week of January. That blows my mind when I think of the magnitude of that fact – a lot of people get excited to make-over themselves or their careers, often spending time thinking and planning, along with a lot of anticipation and hope, and then after trying for one week that’s all gone!

Why is this?  To me, it’s either because they haven’t planned appropriately, they took on too much at one time, or it’s not a truly burning desire.  Let’s look at each of these individually (in case you are having the same problem):

  • No appropriate planning – when most people have a desire or aim, they set a goal and then rush right into getting it accomplished.  Without appropriate thought and planning you will be doomed to fail; in the Six Stages of Action Model (Prochaska, 1995), taking action is #4 – the most important step is the third, which is preparation; when you are totally prepared and planned for what you want to do, and have all the steps in place, taking action and sticking with it will seem easy which leads to the results you want
  • Too much at once – if you’ve ever seen someone take too much food, and then not finish it, we often say that their ‘eyes are bigger than their stomach.’  This is what often happens with goals – you may see the big picture but imagine all the steps it will take to get there, which leads to feeling overwhelmed and in avoidance mode.  When you are fully prepared, as I mentioned above, and start s-l-o-w-l-y, it will allow you to transition into a new routine easily; using the principle of Kaizen, starting with the smallest (and least threatening) step will allow your fear-center to relax and you will begin to develop good habits without even realizing.
  • No burning desire – I’m sure you have goals that you really want but are they the ‘no-holds barred’ type?  If the things you want to accomplish don’t excite you or get you to leap out of bed every day then you’ll lose interest in them quickly.   Likewise, if what you want to accomplish has a negative attached to it, such as losing weight or stop procrastinating, it actually gets you to focus on that negative and your actions follow.  The easiest way is to focus on the benefit you will get once you achieve your outcome, which is why you want it to begin with.  Make your goal as compelling as you can so you will feel more passionate and motivated to get it done.

Take time this week to review how you’re doing on your goals and compare them to the list I’ve mentioned.  It’s not too late to revamp, get more prepared and start the Kaizen way in order to make great things happen. I’m rooting for you!

If you want help to plan your goals and take massive action then contact me today http://www.cyscoaching.com

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