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Being Authentic When Relationship Building ( #215)

As we all know, relationships are the basis for having a good life; this includes our personal life, our work situations, and for building businesses.  We’ve all heard the phrase, ‘its not what you know but who you know” and, partly, no truer words have been spoken. People will refer those they know, like and trust to others which helps when advancing in one’s career or business. Building relationships, while being essential, does not always come easy for some people, while those that have no problem meeting people may not do so well.

When one is so eager to fulfill an emotional need, they will do anything to get that need met, either by forcing a situation that will meet that need or by doing nothing – of very little.  So if an individual, for instance, wants a promotion he or she might begin networking both internally and externally to get connected with the hiring manager; the tricky part becomes how they conduct their networking as it could backfire on them.  If they are authentic in their networking, they are coming from a place of learning more about the needs that the particular job fills and making the connection as to how their skills and experience will meet those needs; but – this is where it become ‘tricky’ – if they are being manipulative or coming on too strong (‘schmoozy’) then it could have dire consequences for them.  One of two things will happen: 1) they will get the job but get known as a schmoozer to get what they want, or 2) they blow their chances of even getting considered. Either way, it is a blown chance.

Relationship building is an art – just look at how many books and seminars are done on this topic. Not everyone comes out a pro and does it right. But that doesn’t mean one can’t learn how to easily build relationships that are mutually satisfying:

  • One must come from a place of being heartfelt and interested in not just having a relationship but in nurturing it; relationships are work, so to speak, so coming from a place of reciprocity and acceptance will foster them
  • One must be authentic in those relationships, meaning that you are being who you are and openly accepting the other person for who they are; you find the commonalities and then nurture them
  • One must come from a place of service, or helping the other in some way; that could be by offering your advice, resources, or a lifting them up through kind words and acts

So if you want to get ahead in your career and your life, work to establish and build relationships that have meaning and are mutually satisfying; it all starts with being authentic from the start.

 

Ready to Set 2014 on Fire?

Happy December!  With only a couple weeks left of this year, now is the perfect time to plan and prepare so you can hit the ground running in 2014 and blaze into success.  What you do now is predictive of how your new year will start; I think it’s a misnomer that the beginning of the year is the time to set goals for what you want to accomplish throughout the year.  This typically leads to starting but dying out quickly.  Setting a goal is great; after all, it is the outcome you desire for some partt of your life.  But just having a goal is not enough – you need to define all aspects of what it will take to get you there as well as being prepared for any roadblocks, either internal or external, that will arise.

Preparation is the key to action as it leads you towards your desire; you won’t be confused on what to do or where to go.  Setting big goals sets the stage but taking massive action completes the scene, so to speak.  If you’re ready to set 2014 on fire, here are 5 steps you can take right now to get you there:

1.  Review this past year’s accomplishments – why they worked, what resources you used, support you received – and build off of those  You want to rinse and repeat these activities.  Challenge yourself to see how you could take that accomplishment and push it to a higher level; for example, if you spoke at a network meeting, go for a speaking gig at a conference or an event.

2. Likewise, review what you didn’t get accomplished or activities that didn’t work and review them to see if you missed opportunities, if you didn’t have the right market/resources/support, or if you allowed fears to get in your way.  Determine if they are still important to you, as needs and desires can change, and let go of what no longer feels good.   With those that are left, decide what you could do to make them work in this new year.

3.Set big, bodacious goals – really challenge yourself this year; this can be in regards to going for that promotion, taking the plunge and starting a business, or setting a money goal.  Big goals need big actions to get them done so really stretch yourself  – we usually can accomplish more than we think; you’ll never know if you don’t go so move forward and look at the bigger picture for what’s possible.

4. Banish the fears – we all have them – fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of being rejected, etc.;  even procrastination stems from a fear (usually includes one of those listed).  Once you identify those thoughts/feelings that hold you back, you can do something to banish them forever.  Challenge your thoughts and don’t allow yourself to perpetuate negative ones through your internal talk.

5. Get support – none of us can do it alone so get some help to review your goals and to keep you accountable to complete them.  You might find a mentor, enlist the help of a family member of friend, or you might consider hiring a coach who can help you to think bigger, help you set and strategize your goals, and give you accountability and support.

One last step – NEVER GIVE UP!  Set the vision, focus on it, and take a cue from Kaizen:  small, consistent steps lead to good habits and to reaching those goals your way.  If you follow these steps, you will have your plan set and will be ready to set the new year on fire!

 

If you want help to set goals, create a strategy that will work for you – your terms, your way, and be fully supported along the way then contact us today to get started.   http://www.cyscoaching.com

A Peak Inside: My New Website and Lessons Learned

Last June, I learned that my website had been hacked; some very malicious codes were encrypted in my site.  With just a few “pings” and my site was gone!  I was panicked at the thought – first, for all the information I might lose and second, that my online reputation would be adversely affected.  At that time, I had high search engine rankings and was a Google preferred location.  It so happened that this discovery was made while I was working with a web developer to actually upgrade the site so I didn’t have lag time in finding help.  The upgrade I had been planning was to add a membership site and the web designer directed me to make the site a Joomla site (I previously had WordPress).  He was quickly able to get a website back up for me, although it was not the look I wanted. He said “we can work on that”

However, the working consisted of him sending me directions to do it on my own.  I have learned how to do a lot of things but I haven’t mastered all of the computer skills needed to make the site look good.  I am not sure why he wasn’t willing to do the work himself and then he slowly disappeared.  I kept asking around and finally found a Joomla expert, who developed a brand new site for me; however, he also disappeared before the site got up and running.  For just about a year I asked, but could not find, anyone who knew Joomla so this new site could get up.  I was frustrated and I could see how my business was affected.  Well, I finally did find a real Joomla expert who was able to clean things up and I am happy to announce that my new website is ‘open for business!”   I invite you in and let me know what you think.

There are also some lessons learned for those of you who have your own website or blogsite:

1. Pay attention to your site often – even though I was on my site often, it seems it wasn’t enough.  I am more diligent now

2. Don’t be aloof – I was too trusting that my site was safe. I was told by my hosting site, who discovered the malicious encryption, that there are people out there who sit and “ping” sites in the hopes of finding a way in.  I now have a stronger software protection and it is monitored heavily. Although this won’t totally guarantee that this won’t happen again, these measures will deter attempts

3. Update your content – don’t let the information you share be static; customers need variety so changing it up will keep them coming back as well as let hackers know that the site is monitored – this will put them on notice that any activities will be noticed and dealt with quickly which is what they want to do

Learn from my lessons so it doesn’t happen to you.  Rebuilding is never fun or easy but not impossible.  Here is my new site – www.cyscoaching.com – let me know how it looks!

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