So to continue on my story of the ‘broken car,’ I am now happy to report that I am the proud owner of a brand new one. I decided yesterday to just go ‘look’ – my intention was not to buy anything but, it was Black Friday and there were a lot of good car deals going on. I had my heart set on a particular one but, 6 hours later, after 4 test drives (I know, I’m picky), it was down to two.
Financing worked out but now came the big decisions: fix my car, buy a new one, and which one. After going back and forth, I decided to buy a smaller SUV – the bigger one is too big for a short person and I really like the dashboard of the one I bought (yes, picky). I am a bit sad, though, as I didn’t even drive it off the lot as I drove there.
Today, as many of us do, my buyer’s remorse is starting to kick in: did I get the best deal, could I have gotten them lower, would another dealer have given a better offer, should I have taken the other car? How many times do you regret either making a decision that you question or regretting a decision you didn’t make? I think a majority of us live with these fears and self-doubts when it comes to making a decision. I say it’s because we don’t trust ourselves enough while also fearing the inability to face a consequence that may result.
I am reading a great book by Brian Whetten, Ph. D, called “Yes, Yes, Hell No!” He says that when it comes to making a decision, whether good or bad, that we will move forward which are the yeses but then this turns into the hell no aspect. For example, say you really want to move into a new job; you search and find one, you update your resume with keywords and ensuring your skills shine; you open the computer to apply BUT you don’t. You start questioning the process and all the what-ifs that might occur. You have just done the Yes, Yes – Hell No process.
Whetton (2015) says that there are two types of decisions: dilemmas and dreams; I faced dilemma as I was facing several alternatives, while a dream involves something you want to accomplish. He says that decisions are made up of intuition, reason and the fear, and that when these three align we should move forward. But the key is listening to which voice is raising its head and to respond accordingly. Embracing the fear, or fears, helps them release them while holding onto them only makes them stronger. We all have the answers – we just need to pay attention to them. I recommend this book – I think I’m going back to the beginning and reading again to embrace my new car and all future decisions I make.
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