So last week I wrote how I had major car trouble but looked through the silver lining to see several positives that laid behind looking at expensive car repairs and having to rely on others to get around while the car was in the shop. Today, I am trying hard to find that lining again as they are telling me the car is essentially ‘crap’ – it needs a major repair that is going to cost thousands of dollars. My dilemma is: do I want to sink more money into a car, of which I have no car payments, or do I go buy another car and take on payments again?
The timing also could not be worse: here we are right before Thanksgiving, with family down and the Christmas holiday upon us. This feels like a setback to a setback. Dealing with a double-whammy of sorts elicits a host of feelings – worry, irritability, racing thoughts, etc. We typically place expectations on what we want something to be and when it does not turn out that way, we are filled with all of those feelings and emotions just mentioned.
We think, “If I want this…then it will happen.” This is why we feel so miserable when we suffer a setback in our plans. But, often these disappointments can be blessings in disguise and help us grow in our self-development. We can learn so much about ourselves – our character, our outlook and our strengths – which helps us to deal and move on. They help to strengthen and enhance our capability to handle future setbacks. Here are three ways to deal with setbacks (and setbacks) you may be facing:
1. Take time – when something negative occurs, we must take time to grieve and expel the emotions that arise, such as anger, anxiety or sadness. These are all natural emotions that, if not released, will adversely impact you along the way. Recognize that it can take some time to go through this journey.
2. Go inward – commit to looking inside to your feelings and assessing the situation for what it is; this is not about blame but about looking realistically at the situation for what occurred, why and what your part was in it. This releases you from victimhood, puts you in problem-solving mode, it gets you to accept responsibility and allows you to move on.
3. Refocus – now that you have released any old feelings, it is now time to refocus on what you do want in your life. Ask questions, such as “what do I need to know to deal and move on” and then journal what comes to you (without limitations); set new goals, along with some action steps, to go about achieving them and take one step to action.
Moving through these steps will help you to move and grow through any setback that may occur in your life. Recognizing how you deal and adapting is what enhances your coping skills and strengthens your character. I’m off to explore options, which includes car shopping to see what’s available and manageable, as well as checking other options on getting my car fixed. As uncomfortable as this is, pushing through leads to us coming out on the other side.
If you’d like help getting through your setbacks, call today for your Complementary Discover Session; let’s get you living your best life: http://www.cyscoaching.com