Being Authentic When Relationship Building ( #215)

As we all know, relationships are the basis for having a good life; this includes our personal life, our work situations, and for building businesses.  We’ve all heard the phrase, ‘its not what you know but who you know” and, partly, no truer words have been spoken. People will refer those they know, like and trust to others which helps when advancing in one’s career or business. Building relationships, while being essential, does not always come easy for some people, while those that have no problem meeting people may not do so well.

When one is so eager to fulfill an emotional need, they will do anything to get that need met, either by forcing a situation that will meet that need or by doing nothing – of very little.  So if an individual, for instance, wants a promotion he or she might begin networking both internally and externally to get connected with the hiring manager; the tricky part becomes how they conduct their networking as it could backfire on them.  If they are authentic in their networking, they are coming from a place of learning more about the needs that the particular job fills and making the connection as to how their skills and experience will meet those needs; but – this is where it become ‘tricky’ – if they are being manipulative or coming on too strong (‘schmoozy’) then it could have dire consequences for them.  One of two things will happen: 1) they will get the job but get known as a schmoozer to get what they want, or 2) they blow their chances of even getting considered. Either way, it is a blown chance.

Relationship building is an art – just look at how many books and seminars are done on this topic. Not everyone comes out a pro and does it right. But that doesn’t mean one can’t learn how to easily build relationships that are mutually satisfying:

• One must come from a place of being heartfelt and interested in not just having a relationship but in nurturing it; relationships are work, so to speak, so coming from a place of reciprocity and acceptance will foster them
• One must be authentic in those relationships, meaning that you are being who you are and openly accepting the other person for who they are; you find the commonalities and then nurture them
• One must come from a place of service, or helping the other in some way; that could be by offering your advice, resources, or a lifting them up through kind words and acts

So if you want to get ahead in your career and your life, work to establish and build relationships that have meaning and are mutually satisfying; it all starts with being authentic from the start.