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Posts Tagged ‘overcoming fears’

Changing Your Outlook on Fear

If you have, or are now, dealing with fears that are preventing you from moving ahead in your career or your business, you are not alone.

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Dealing with fear and the reasons for them is a big part of my business.  You see, fear is really the underlying basis of procrastination and avoidance.  It is the root-cause of why most people never finish a task or a goal, why they can’t speak up at a meeting or market their business.  And, sadly, it is the underlying reason why relationships suffer from not making your needs known.

How you define fear can dictate your reactions to its meaning.  I recently ran across two definitions of fear that I think are important to share in the hopes that you might look deeper into your fears and decide to banish them once and for all:

Forget Everything And Run

Face Everything And Rise

With the first, you can go into flight mode and run away from what you want; however, you ultimately have to live with the results – not having what you desire and then living with your inaction’s and resulting frustrations.  OR, you can choose to face your fears and overcome them.  The more you do, the more long-lasting results you will see.

You need to decide which path you want to take- to face your fears or to allow them to control you.  Make the choice to overcome any fear you have; recognize that their power is from you, which means you can easily take it away.

Here are some steps you can take to rid yourself of those pesky fears that are holding you back:

This week, make your focus the quest to uncover the real reason for your fears; then, question their validity and what you think would be the worst outcome.  Rewrite those outcomes as a positive statement and monitor how you feel when you read them.  Vow to take one small action step on what is holding you back then ‘see’ how much you get accomplished.  Commit to building on these actions and monitor your progress until your goal is achieved.

If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, or in ‘taming the demons’ that prevent your success,  why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started! http://www.cyscoaching.com

When You Can’t See the Forest for the Trees

Have you ever wanted to move forward in your life but did not and then, later, the answer to move you to that end-result was in front of you all along? I’ll admit that I’ve been there a time or two, but it brought this to light in some work I’ve done recently.

I was working with a young man who was looking to make some job changes, as they were not making enough financially and found themselves struggling. In exploring their options and discovering their calling, they revealed that they really liked working on computers and would like a job in the field but did not know how to go about doing so. Imagine my surprise as we moved on to discover that they actually had completed their AA degree in computer networking and an A+ certification.

What? Here was someone who was struggling with how to proceed in their career while already having viable tools at their disposal. This young man could not see his forest for the trees he had planted; his mindset and outlook were blocking his view. He admitted that he tended to only focus on how he would get started or use his education; this confused state led him to take the first job he found. But, he was no longer willing to stay in this state, thus his coming to me.

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How many have been in the same situation as this young man, frustrated at their current situation, wondering how to proceed, but allowing these doubt and frustrations to keep them down? Truthfully, it’s what keeps those in the personal development field in business. Self-doubt and lack of confidence are poison as they raise fears that can be paralyzing, leading one to stay in the same place and not seeing what could be ahead.

Overcoming our fears is not easy, as our body is meant to search out for threats it detects – doing something new is threatening.  But, we have to question these fears to know if they are a reality we have to deal with. If we face something that threatened us in the past, i.e. getting yelled at, being told a negative comment, failed at something, etc., we don’t know if the same incident will happen, or in the same way yet we live as if it will.

Questioning the source of your fears is the only way to move past them – are they absolutely true, which no one can say with certainty. Being a problem-solver to the situation will also alleviate any doubt and puts your brain into action mode for potential solutions to any issue you face. For this young man, it became for him to explore the varying careers/jobs in the IT field and organizations who are looking for someone with his background. He also was able to focus on connections he could make who could refer him to a potential hirer, as well as places he could contact to volunteer in order to get some experience.

Coming up with a viable plan for his next steps was useful in chopping down any trees that were blocking his view from his future. Our work still will focus on reinforcing positive actions he is taking, as well as continuing to overcome his fears but this young man left with renewed hope and spirit that will take him far.

I saw a great quote today that related to this topic: “If something isn’t working, move. You’re not a tree.” (author, unknown). Your path may covered by obstacles (trees) but you don’t have to stay behind them- go around them, over them, or cut them down. There’s always a way.

If you’re facing obstacles to achieving your goals or desires, let’s talk; contact us at http://www.cyscoaching.com

 

 

Ready to Set 2014 on Fire?

Happy December!  With only a couple weeks left of this year, now is the perfect time to plan and prepare so you can hit the ground running in 2014 and blaze into success.  What you do now is predictive of how your new year will start; I think it’s a misnomer that the beginning of the year is the time to set goals for what you want to accomplish throughout the year.  This typically leads to starting but dying out quickly.  Setting a goal is great; after all, it is the outcome you desire for some partt of your life.  But just having a goal is not enough – you need to define all aspects of what it will take to get you there as well as being prepared for any roadblocks, either internal or external, that will arise.

Preparation is the key to action as it leads you towards your desire; you won’t be confused on what to do or where to go.  Setting big goals sets the stage but taking massive action completes the scene, so to speak.  If you’re ready to set 2014 on fire, here are 5 steps you can take right now to get you there:

1.  Review this past year’s accomplishments – why they worked, what resources you used, support you received – and build off of those  You want to rinse and repeat these activities.  Challenge yourself to see how you could take that accomplishment and push it to a higher level; for example, if you spoke at a network meeting, go for a speaking gig at a conference or an event.

2. Likewise, review what you didn’t get accomplished or activities that didn’t work and review them to see if you missed opportunities, if you didn’t have the right market/resources/support, or if you allowed fears to get in your way.  Determine if they are still important to you, as needs and desires can change, and let go of what no longer feels good.   With those that are left, decide what you could do to make them work in this new year.

3.Set big, bodacious goals – really challenge yourself this year; this can be in regards to going for that promotion, taking the plunge and starting a business, or setting a money goal.  Big goals need big actions to get them done so really stretch yourself  – we usually can accomplish more than we think; you’ll never know if you don’t go so move forward and look at the bigger picture for what’s possible.

4. Banish the fears – we all have them – fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of being rejected, etc.;  even procrastination stems from a fear (usually includes one of those listed).  Once you identify those thoughts/feelings that hold you back, you can do something to banish them forever.  Challenge your thoughts and don’t allow yourself to perpetuate negative ones through your internal talk.

5. Get support – none of us can do it alone so get some help to review your goals and to keep you accountable to complete them.  You might find a mentor, enlist the help of a family member of friend, or you might consider hiring a coach who can help you to think bigger, help you set and strategize your goals, and give you accountability and support.

One last step – NEVER GIVE UP!  Set the vision, focus on it, and take a cue from Kaizen:  small, consistent steps lead to good habits and to reaching those goals your way.  If you follow these steps, you will have your plan set and will be ready to set the new year on fire!

 

If you want help to set goals, create a strategy that will work for you – your terms, your way, and be fully supported along the way then contact us today to get started.   http://www.cyscoaching.com

The More You Do, The Easier it Becomes

Today is Day 5 of my blog challenge, which has been going well.  I find that daily writing is like riding a bike – it comes back to you after consistent effort.  I find that the more you do a task, the easier it becomes, which results in a higher level of skill and mastery.  Often times, when faced with a task, you might focus on the magnitude of the task, either perceived or real.  The perception of the task will either lead to action or inaction, depending if you view the task as satisfying and worthwhile or you view it as hard or can’t seem to see a beneficial result.

In order to push through, it is important to let the fear-center in the brain (the Amygdala) lie low so you can push through.  I use the principles of Kaizen, which means ‘small steps lead to big changes.’  Breaking tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps will help the fear center to lay down and get out of the way so the actions you take seem more easier; it also establishes these small steps as new habits so that your next actions will not seem so monumental and lead you down the avoidance path.

Here is a great book that will tell you how to implement the practices of Kaizen and is a recommended read:

The Kaizen Way:  One Small Step Can Change Your Life, by Robert Maurer, Ph. D.,

So, using these principles – let the blogging continue.  I find that topic ideas are coming easier and the words are flowing more freely.  Give it a try – I’ll bet you’ll find more productivity and results in your day!

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