Doing Something that Scares You But Is Exactly What you Want/Need

First off, Happy Halloween! It feels strange having it be on a Monday but I did party on Saturday night. It was so fun to dress and have people you see daily not recognize you. I was a blond for the night (which I was for a period of time in my past). It was scary to see how people would look at me but, hearing many compliments, it was empowering.

This made me think of how scary a goal or task we want to accomplish can be; this goal can be something we want, such as getting more money, changing jobs, or stopping a bad habit. But it also can be something that we need, even though we may not realize it. I think of individuals who say they are unhappy in their career but stay out of a fear of some kind, which could include: fear of rejection (‘what if I don’t get hired?’), fear of change (‘I know what I have but don’t know what’s out there’), or fear of how it will impact others (‘how will my family deal with me having a new job?’). Going on a different path is scary – but is it more so than staying in a job (or a situation) that depletes you?

Even positive changes can be stressful (eustress) and feel so scary that they are either done slowly or never done. Again, the fear is greater than the desire. So what’s the solution? We’ve all hear the saying “feel the fear and do it anyway” (Susan Jeffers); I say also ‘get over yourself and move on.’ Is the task, goal, or whatever it is you want to do more compelling and powerful than any fear you have? I hope so, because if it’s not, then why do the ‘whatever?’ Your goal must be so compelling that it doesn’t matter what you, or others, think. You just know it needs to happen. The importance is what will give you courage to start and accomplish anything you set out to do.

This reminds me of a story I read with the title of “How Religion Helped her Lose 100lbs.” It seems that the woman in the story was in church listening to the Pastor’s sermon; his message concluded with the statement ‘when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, then when do you get over your self?’ The woman related how this really resonated with her about her weight, so she decided then and there to make serious changes, which led to her profound weight loss. I think that statement is very compelling in that we all can ask ourselves that question when we find ourselves fearful and frustrated. Like this woman, you can set a goal and begin to make changes that will move you fulfilling that goal. Sure, it will be scary at first; but if you have a compelling reason and be committed, you can move past scary and into accomplished.


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