So I went to see the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens movie last; without giving anything away, I will just say one word – Phenomenal! Having been around from the beginning, this movie had it all and sets the stage for the next arc in the trilogy. Today, however, I am seeing a lot of people who are feeling disappointment in the movie; not enough this, not enough that, too much of … It made me reflect on the emotion of disappointment.
To be disappointed is to feel let down by someone or something. But it really goes back to us and our expectations of a person or a situation. We have in our mind of how we want something to go, or somebody to act; this typically is based on our own beliefs and values. So, when things don’t turn out as planned, we feel let down in some way. The result can be anger, rage, sadness, or a host of other emotions.
I went into the movie with no expectations; it has been 38 years since the first one came out so for me, I relished every moment and didn’t want it to end. I’m baffled, frankly, when I hear some of the negative comments which leads me to believe that their expectations were not met in some way. We’ve all been disappointed in our lives; at times these are minor while others are major let-downs. Here are 3 quick was to deal with disappointment so you don’t go down a negative path:
- Recognize the disappointment – when something doesn’t turn out as you hoped, you might feel shut down, sad, anxious, or angry; these are typical emotions we all feel at one time or another so it’s important to be aware of the reason you might be feeling this way. You got made at someone or sad about their actions which elicits an emotion – you must recognize that you were let down by your own expectations which may have nothing to do with that person doing something to you. Rather than questioning why you feel upset, recognize you feel let down in some way
- Analyze the disappointment – once you recognize your emotion, it is important to replay it and see both sides of the situation: the person’s thoughts and actions, and possible intent (since we don’t know it for sure). Examine your own thoughts and actions, and perceptions, as well as how you expected or wanted the other person to think, act and behave. This will give you a bigger picture of the situation so you can take your hurt less personally
- Reframe and resolve the disappointment – armed with this bigger picture and view of the whole situation and players involved, I think you will see that your hurt was your own; using empathy to see that the other person was acting in their own way will lead to letting any of the hurts go. Being aware that the outcome was the result of someone or something not turning out as hoped gives way to dealing with them
We can sometime get so hyped up about a situation that we don’t often add in the possibility it will not turn out that way. The next time you get upset, do a fast check on where the emotion is coming from but where the disappointment comes from, whether from yourself or another. This will lead to looking at all sides and coming from an open framework; the result? Que sera, sera (‘whatever will be, will be’).
If you’d like some help in moving past your disappointments and creating your future, call today for a Complementary Discovery Session to get started: http://www.cyscoaching.com