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Posts Tagged ‘overcoming negativity’

How to Deal When Nothing Seems to Go Right

Did you ever have one of those days when it seems that things don’t go the way you want them to? I’m sure you have – we all have. I’d defy someone to say that this has never occurred in their life. Today seems like one of those days. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve had two companies call for my services but now they are delaying with an answer (huh?). I’m working on a presentation and the ‘tweaks’ are not going as expected. And now, one of my worst fears might be true – a website I had built in the last two years may be gone: I got the white screen of death.

Six years ago, my website got hacked and I had to start over – it was pretty devastating but did lead to some good outcomes. I had someone start a new site for me, which I’ve never used but feel I may want to; I called my hosting site and they think it may be the browser I’m signed in on – I’m praying it is so. If not, I will most likely need a good cry and a drink or two (lol).

I’d like to go back and address my statement that today ‘seems’ like one of those days when, in fact, it’s really not that bad. Why is it that we go down that dark place? Why do we allow our negative thoughts to take over, where we ‘lump’ all our situations into one big dark cloud? The brain tends to stay on the negative side, as it is always looking at potential threats to our status quo. When you have one negative issue, the memories of an earlier one comes flooding through and the emotion we feel is as if we first experienced it. I’m feeling a sense of panic when I think of how awful it was six years ago when my website got hacked – it doesn’t feel any different for me.

The only positive is that I’ve grown a lot since then and can rationalize the situation and how I will respond if the outcome turns out to be what I fear. I know that I have people I can turn to who will help me in this, although the loss of the work done is leading me to be so upset. If you’re experiencing a day where things seem to turn out wrong, here are a few tips to help turn this around:

  1. stop and pause – as our fight or flight is going off, it can lead us to feel anxious or angry, and wanting to make the situation ‘right’ (which can have the opposite effect). Stopping and pausing will provide calm, which is needed to think more clearly about the actions you will take
  2. use positive self-talk – as our tendency is to focus on negative, we have to fight hard to be positive; talking out loud to yourself breaks the negative focus and you can challenge the negative thought to see an alternate side, or a positive outcome for how you are able to handle any situation you face
  3. take quick action – don’t allow any negativity to invade your thoughts, which will happen very easily. Taking action on solutions charges the brain, which loves to solve problems, and doesn’t give time for wallowing in your poor circumstances

I know the talk will get pulled together; I can give some more time to hear back, as well s contact both companies for a status update; and, I know that I can start again in creating a new site (my delay in not using it is telling me something). I will give pause and reflect on the message, and then take action on righting the wrong. Positive thoughts create positive actions!

If you would like help in overcoming negativity and be more focused and action-oriented to achieve your desired goals, contact us: http://www.cyscoaching.com – let’s talk!

If You Found the Magic Lamp….An Exercise to Get What you Desire

How many times do you say “I want” when you have desires you want to achieve?  I’m sure it’s often, if you’re anything like the majority of people in the world.  When you say “I want,” how often does it make you want to take action to get what that is? I would suspect not often. A want is a desire but the words themselves are actually demotivating and gives you an excuse, so to speak, when you don’t go after it. Often times this is due to a fear of thinking big – either because of not feeling deserving or failing, or feeling overwhelmed by what it would take to complete the tasks.

In order to get what you desire, I believe we need to start small to relieve the fear center in our brain from working over-time; this allows the brain to accept small actions which can be repeated over and over.  When the fear center is calm, great things can get accomplished.   While this may sound simple, it is not always easy to override the fears mainly because those are habits that have been developed over time; it didn’t take a second for those to get imprinted so it will take some time to unlearn them.  This will then open the door for new, positive thoughts to become the habit.

If you’ve ever heard the story of the magic lamp, then you know that when it is rubbed a Magic Genie appears to grant a wish to the holder of the lamp. This can be a very powerful exercise to help you to overcome the fears and ‘see’ the possibilities that lie in your mind (unconscious); this will bring them to the forefront (conscious) so now you can take action towards getting whatever it is you desire.

So if you found the magic lamp (this is a picture of mine), what would you ask for? In order to get what it is you desire, it will take engaging your visual sense, which is very powerful.  Imagine yourself finding the magic lamp; you know you only have one wish to make so it needs to be one that you really want: as you hold the lamp (or visualize holding the lamp), allow you brain to be open to the pictures that come up.  What do you see?  What are your plans for the day – are you going to a job, to your own business? What kind of clothes do you put on for the day? How far do you travel to get there and how (BMW, Mercedes, etc.)? What does the building or location look like (an office building, an established corporation, your own home, etc.)? Who are the people you are interacting with? What type of activities are you performing in your day?  What time to do you leave to get home?  What is your money goal – are you meeting it and from what sources? What does your lifestyle look like because of this goal?

The point of this exercise is to engage one of your most powerful tools so you can “see-think-feel-believe-act” and have all that you desire. So when it comes to wanting something, use your god-given abilities to go after them.  Doing this exercise once will shift your thoughts to more positive ones; when you feel stuck all you need to do is visualize the lamp and you will feel calmer and confident to go after all that you desire.

If you would liked help in getting ‘unstuck’ so you can do and achieve more in your life or your career, contact us at http://www.cyscoaching.com

A Thankful Life – my latest article

Here is my latest article on the Work at Home Woman

http://www.theworkathomewoman.com/a-thankful-life/

Let me know what you think; what you YOU thankful for?

A Postive Mind Means Positive Results

We all need goals in our life, whether they are for our personal life, our career or professional life, or both.  But setting and reaching goals can be tricky. A key component in setting and accomplishing goals is having a positive mindset.  Our minds are made up of thoughts and beliefs, which may not always be based on reality. However, it seems that we think those thoughts anyway, which causes us to respond negatively.  We tend to replay over and over the negative experience or thought, which creates a more powerful event on our mind.  Our mind goes into overdrive, which keeps the negative thought there. When we are faced with a situation, we will usually bring up the past negative thought since it is so powerfully engrained in our mind. This can prevent us from moving forward or taking action on our goals, which can lead us to feeling upset and angry at ourselves.  The negative thought experience repeats itself.  We don’t give us a chance for future events to be or act positively!

But, there is good news!  It is possible to retrain your brain into new ways of thinking.  There is scientific reasoning for why we go back to negative ways. It starts with an area in our brain called the amygdala, which is where our ‘fight or flight’ response is located.  This can cause adrenaline to be released into our bloodstream, causing our heart rate to go up and for us to be in a hypersensitive mode.  This causes the negative event to become more powerful as we repeat over and over the experience, all the while engraining the event more powerfully into our mind.  When we train our brain to think more positively, we are using our left prefrontal lobe area, which is stronger than the right, which will create a new neural pathway and cause us to override the negative events we face in the future.

Our brains also have an area that sorts and stores information, which is called the Reticular Activating System (RAS).  When we set a goal, and particularly if we write it, the RAS will bring the goal to the forefront of our mind, excluding other information and thoughts, and this will lead us to goal realization.  By focusing on the positives, your brain will automatically”kick in” the positive thoughts and feelings, which will allow you to keep on the positive and find the resources you need to keep focused on your goal.  Your brain knows what to do – you just need to allow it to do it’s job.  It does take practice, but the rewards can be achievement, happiness, and success!

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