Dealing with Disappointment in Others

I feel as if I’m writing this with a heavy heart; my idea of doing a weekly profile of various industries was going really well since the beginning of the year….until now. I have approached people I’ve known, who are making it ‘big’ in their respected industries, but have been very disappointed in the responses I’ve gotten or, should I say, the lack of.

Last week, I was late in getting the information out as I had to find a quick substitute for the person who had agreed and then didn’t; this week is the same. The person this week ‘forgot’ and then had some other things to take care of – they even avoided me when I saw them later. I feel so disappointed in these individuals right now. It makes me wonder how many others they have not followed through with or if that is how they run their business.

I’ve had to step back and deal with the disappointment I feel; I need to look at my expectations and if I got in the way somehow. Here are three quick tips for how to deal when others have disappointed you in some way:

• assess the situation from an outsider’s viewpoint: look to see if what you were asking was clear and conveyed in a way that the other person understood in the exact same way (I had told the person when I needed the information, but their response was “if I had known when you needed it, I wouldn’t have agreed; obviously, our wires got crossed – I did email them twice).
• take your hurt less personally: this is more about the other person and where they are; I am not sure if I’m upset more with the fact that my request was not important to this person or that they failed to follow through (I think both). Use empathy to see where the other person may be coming from in their perspective
• reaffirm your boundaries and move on: this person crossed a line that was not acceptable to me; I’ll be nice when I see them (we attend a meeting together) but I won’t ask them again into this space. Moving on and forward into your desires will take the ‘sting’ out of the situation and help you to let go of any negativity you fell

Just writing this has helped me to feel better. So, I will move forward to others who are more open and willing to share in the future. Stay tuned!