Worrying Less About What Other People Think About You

A lesson for today is to worry less about what other people think about you and more about what you think of yourself.   I sometimes see others who want/need so much validation from others that it leads them to overstepping their own boundaries and depletes them.  They go over and above in all areas of their life and begins to affect them emotionally, such as feeling tired, sad or angry.  They aren’t really sure where these emotions come from but, after self-reflection and thought, they come to realize that they actually feel a resentment towards others.

This phenomenon is actually loosening one’s personal boundaries, which is usually tied to a need to gain others approval or affection.  I see this over and over in the workplace – staying late to please the boss, taking on an assignment to help out a coworker, or working at top-speed to “show” that you are an exemplary employee.  While there is nothing wrong with doing this extra work, it becomes problematic when it begins to breed resentment.

Begin to be more aware of your ill feelings; are you saying “yes” when you actually want to say “no?”; what do you fear will happen if you were to say no?  I find that people will actually respect these boundaries more than you believe and you will feel more in control of your situation.  Worrying more about your needs and resulting feelings is more important than what other people think about you.

 

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