Every day we are faced with making decisions: what time should I get up, what will I wear or what will I eat for breakfast. These are simple decisions that we usually don’t put too much emphasis on. But most people have a really difficult time taking a stand on one side of an issue, particularly if it involves a major impact in either ours, or someone else’s life. It cmight be deciding if you should end a relationship or if you should leave your current job. It could be something less impactful, but still important, like making a ‘big’ purchase; I remember how difficult it was for me to buy a computer as there were so many options, prices, etc. that I drug it out for several months.
When one can’t make a decision, it says two things: 1. that they don’t trust themselves enough to know what is – or isn’t- right for them, and 2. they can’t live with the consequence of that decision. Along with that may come the deserve level – do I deserve to have what they are wrestling with. There has to come a time when one has to take the leap and make a stand, which means picking one option. Even though the decision can feel scary, not doing so can lead to deep feelings of regret that one may never recover from.
There are several ways to go about making decisions:
1. The old Pros & Cons list – take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle; on one side, write Pros and the other Cons and then list your reasons for what you want under each. Look for themes or to see which side outweighs the other.
2. The Six Thinking Hats – this is a widely-known tool where each ‘hat’ helps you to look at a situation from different perspectives. For instance, the yellow hat is the best or most positive outcome; the white hat involves the facts and data and can involve past outcomes to base your decision on; and the black hat is the worst outcome that could occur.
Life is always about making a decision, whether big or small. If you can’t decide then a fear is in place and it goes back to either not trusting yourself or not being able to live with the outcome. Using one of the two ‘tools’ I suggested can help to make a better decision. But it starts with taking a stand and making the leap.