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Posts Tagged ‘dealing with a bad day’

How to Deal When Nothing Seems to Go Right

Did you ever have one of those days when it seems that things don’t go the way you want them to? I’m sure you have – we all have. I’d defy someone to say that this has never occurred in their life. Today seems like one of those days. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve had two companies call for my services but now they are delaying with an answer (huh?). I’m working on a presentation and the ‘tweaks’ are not going as expected. And now, one of my worst fears might be true – a website I had built in the last two years may be gone: I got the white screen of death.

Six years ago, my website got hacked and I had to start over – it was pretty devastating but did lead to some good outcomes. I had someone start a new site for me, which I’ve never used but feel I may want to; I called my hosting site and they think it may be the browser I’m signed in on – I’m praying it is so. If not, I will most likely need a good cry and a drink or two (lol).

I’d like to go back and address my statement that today ‘seems’ like one of those days when, in fact, it’s really not that bad. Why is it that we go down that dark place? Why do we allow our negative thoughts to take over, where we ‘lump’ all our situations into one big dark cloud? The brain tends to stay on the negative side, as it is always looking at potential threats to our status quo. When you have one negative issue, the memories of an earlier one comes flooding through and the emotion we feel is as if we first experienced it. I’m feeling a sense of panic when I think of how awful it was six years ago when my website got hacked – it doesn’t feel any different for me.

The only positive is that I’ve grown a lot since then and can rationalize the situation and how I will respond if the outcome turns out to be what I fear. I know that I have people I can turn to who will help me in this, although the loss of the work done is leading me to be so upset. If you’re experiencing a day where things seem to turn out wrong, here are a few tips to help turn this around:

  1. stop and pause – as our fight or flight is going off, it can lead us to feel anxious or angry, and wanting to make the situation ‘right’ (which can have the opposite effect). Stopping and pausing will provide calm, which is needed to think more clearly about the actions you will take
  2. use positive self-talk – as our tendency is to focus on negative, we have to fight hard to be positive; talking out loud to yourself breaks the negative focus and you can challenge the negative thought to see an alternate side, or a positive outcome for how you are able to handle any situation you face
  3. take quick action – don’t allow any negativity to invade your thoughts, which will happen very easily. Taking action on solutions charges the brain, which loves to solve problems, and doesn’t give time for wallowing in your poor circumstances

I know the talk will get pulled together; I can give some more time to hear back, as well s contact both companies for a status update; and, I know that I can start again in creating a new site (my delay in not using it is telling me something). I will give pause and reflect on the message, and then take action on righting the wrong. Positive thoughts create positive actions!

If you would like help in overcoming negativity and be more focused and action-oriented to achieve your desired goals, contact us: http://www.cyscoaching.com – let’s talk!

How to Deal with “One of Those Days”

Have you ever had ‘one of those days?’ You know, the ones where the day starts out not on a good note and goes downhill from there?  It seems that no matter how positive and calm you remain, nothing seems to work to feel better? And the more you try to overcome, the more irritated you become – the boss or a coworker irritates you; you can’t seem to focus to get your work done; or you just want to start the day over.

I have to admit that today is one of those days for me. I somehow overlooked the fact that my alarm clock was still set to weekend time, so I woke up later than I anticipated, not getting some tasks done before I went into my office. Then, I had a plumbing problem, so I left the floor wet, to later feel very irritated that I rushed only to have a scheduled client having to reschedule. My computer is running slower than I’d like, only adding to my frustrations; I just feel really edgy, which is not a good feeling when more clients are ahead and I need to be open to them.

If you’ve had one of those days, and not sure how to resolve or feel better, here are some tips I use that may help you as well – the more you use them, the better you will feel:

  • Breathe – this is one of the fastest ways that helps me feel calmer immediately as it allows oxygen to get into your system and helps the stress chemical Cortisol to move throughout the body and do the job it’s meant to do, which is to relax
  • Visualization – while I’m breathing, I allow my visual field to ‘see’ happy pictures, which may be colors or my dog, or even a beach scene; sometimes I use the visuals to create the calming scene I envision. This may or may not work for everyone at first but with practice can
  • Write – this really helps to release any negative feelings and see things from a different perspective. Getting any negative or racing thoughts out will not allow them to stay in the head, which is a great way to let things go as well as both challenging thoughts and coming up with strategies/solutions to those bad situations that led me to feel poorly (note to self: make sure to check the clock on Sunday night)
  • Go Outside – I find this also to be an immediate relaxer, particularly standing in fresh air and in sunlight. We take in both the rays from the sun, which helps with Vitamin D levels and taking in oxygen, both which are natural calmers
  • Gratitude – taking the focus off of negative situations and placing them on to positive thoughts and perhaps lessons learned from the negatives, helps to see that I do have a good life in spite of setbacks. It makes me realize that I’ve been through adversity before and not only survived, but thrived, and will today. I always feel positive after this practice, which has now become a daily habit for me

If you’d like help to increase your workplace performance and job satisfaction, while decreasing your stress level, contact us today for your Complementary Discovery Session: http://www.cyscoaching.com.

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