It’s so hard to believe that it has been 3 years since I’ve added to this content. Family health issues will do that – perhaps you can relate.
Being a caregiver is hard work, and that’s when it’s one person; try four, yes four!. Sadly, three of them are gone now, leading to looking at having a ‘restart.’ I don’t want to say ‘starting over’ as, to me, it indicates leaving all in the past for a future…something.
Restart means that whatever one was doing wasn’t working so it’s going in a new direction after a pause – that’s what I’ve done is take a pause. It was time to heal, time to reflect, time to vision, time to plan, and time to take action.
Over the last four years (actually), my business and life did not stop but I had to take a pause to focus on family and getting my health – emotionally, physically, and mentally – in line. I won’t say it wasn’t a dark period – there were moments; but these are the times when you realize how resilient you truly are.
Perhaps you’ve had some situations in your life that have adversely affected you from having a life or career that you desire. The job market is tough right now; so is the workplace. But these don’t mean stop or throw your hands up in the air (which I’ve done a few times).
What these situations mean is that the universe is not saying no, it’s saying ‘not right now.’
That simple phrase can change your whole outlook so you don’t look at your situations as hopeless or beat yourself up that they didn’t work. Not right now leads to the pause you might need so you can figure the situation out or if you even need to continue on with it.
Perhaps you’ve applied to 50 jobs and have not heard back on them, or didn’t get chosen for the position you wanted. Yes, it can feel demoralizing that you have to go back in the hunt, or you may question why you weren’t good enough (you are).
The universe is saying that this situation is not the right one for you at this time. It’s saying ‘try something different’ so you have more success. The 50 applications – go back and review them to see if you truly met the qualifications or gave too much information away so they didn’t have to call you back (or not telling them every single thing you did – you could be taking yourself out of the running). It could be that they already had an internal candidate chosen but went through the hiring motions per EOE. Or, perhaps the candidate was the brother of a manager’s cousin and had an ‘in.’
There can be all kinds of reasons we will never know. My response is: “NEXT!”
When you have a plan in place for job hunting, and are strategic and methodical, success will come. Your ‘not right now’ time can be used to review your resume, your interview responses and questions to ask, or research a company. You can use it to make your 30-60-90-Day Plan for how you will acclimate into the job and be successful (employers like to hear these plans). You can tighten up your interviewing and speaking skills so you are more relaxed and at ease – employers notice these.
So, going back to the pause and restart, here are a few tips to help you feel better about taking a pause and needed restart:
- Stop – there comes a point when you can’t go on as you were, despite feeling the need to. This is your way to connect again with yourself – mind, body, spirit, and emotionally. Continually being in drive-mode will only lead to stress and burnout, not to mention the physical symptoms that can result. If you need to, place a stop sign or write the word somewhere you can see it as a reminder.
- DO Nothing – yes, you heard correctly. Do Nothing that relates to what you feel compelled to do. If that means staying in bed and sleeping in all day, reading or watching a Rom-com, or eating your favorite snacks – it’s ok, Your soul needs this time. You don’t always have to be the driver.
- Give Yourself Permission and Set Boundaries – When you are very driven or have responsibilities on your shoulder, guilt can come into play which can bring you down. Part of restart is to give yourself permission to stop what you were doing, to take ‘me-time.’ You deserve it. Part of this is setting boundaries: for what you will accept from other people, and what you will give of yourself. Boundaries will protect you from over-giving of putting up with ‘stuff’ you don’t want or need,’ and ease any guilty feelings that may arise.
- Pay Attention to Signs for When You’re Ready – become more aware of the voice inside and what it’s telling you, which can be like a whisper to a roar. Our intuitive side leads – it knows what we need and when but we have to focus our attention on the messages being sent. There may be external signs or they can come from within so be more mindful of them; write them down, reflect and journal on their meaning to see which direction you should go.
These are only a few of the lessons I’ve learned; one of the major ones is that you will find clarity and peace when the time is right. This writing is showing this as I hadn’t planned to write today; I was updating something and came back across my site; once I opened it, I felt compelled to send out a message. I have surprised myself today but feel lighter and happier with the restart I am taking. Life can throw us horrible situations but we can either allow them to take us down or we can move forward. But we do have choices for how think about them (isn’t this beautiful) that will determine our moving forward and our success. There is no time-limit on a restart but you will know if you pay attention.
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